7 Narcissistic Mind Games That Drive You Crazy (And Why It’s Never Your Fault)
7 Narcissistic Mind Games That Drive You Crazy (And Why It’s Never Your Fault)
Mike Sullivan 7 Things Narcissists Do to Drive You Crazy (And Why It’s Not You)
Have you ever felt as though you were losing your mind in a relationship? Perhaps you found yourself constantly second-guessing your own thoughts, walking on eggshells, and apologising for things you never actually did. This is not simply because you were too sensitive or insecure. It is because you were being manipulated. Narcissists specialise in creating an environment where confusion becomes the norm. Their tactics are designed to chip away at your reality until you begin to question your very sanity.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
This is not about ordinary disagreements or personality clashes. It’s about psychological warfare. Narcissists don’t just want to control what you do — they want to get inside your head and distort how you see yourself. If you spend all your time doubting your perceptions, you’ll never have the energy to doubt them. That is precisely why their strategies are so effective. Here are seven common tactics narcissists use to drive you absolutely mad — and why none of it is your fault.
1. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is perhaps the most infamous of all narcissistic behaviours. It involves blatant lying, denying facts, and twisting reality until you begin to wonder if you imagined things. You might recall a clear promise or a hurtful remark, only to hear, “That never happened.” Over time, this relentless denial can leave you feeling as if your memory is failing. You may start to depend on the narcissist for your version of reality, believing that you can no longer trust your own mind. The more you question yourself, the less you question them, which is exactly the point.
2. The Silent Treatment
When a narcissist feels criticised or doesn’t get their way, they often retreat into silence. This isn’t an ordinary pause to cool down; it’s a calculated tactic to punish you. They might ignore your calls, walk past you as though you don’t exist, or refuse to acknowledge your presence. While you desperately search for answers and try to make amends, they sit comfortably in the knowledge that you’re suffering. This behaviour forces you to chase their approval, training you to avoid upsetting them in the future.
3. Triangulation
Triangulation is when narcissists drag other people into the dynamic to create insecurity and rivalry. They might compare you to an ex-partner, praising how wonderful that person was in contrast to you. Or they may tell you that friends or family agree with them about your shortcomings. Even strangers can be invoked as imaginary examples to highlight how “difficult” or “unreasonable” you are. The aim is to make you feel that you are in constant competition, never quite measuring up. This sense of inadequacy keeps you preoccupied with proving your worth, rather than recognising the manipulation.
4. Projection
One of the more bewildering tactics is projection. This is when a narcissist accuses you of doing exactly what they are guilty of themselves. For example, if they are being unfaithful, they might insist you’re the one cheating. If they are lying, they’ll claim you’re dishonest. If they are controlling, they’ll accuse you of being overbearing. This tactic is particularly effective because it throws you on the defensive. Instead of calmly evaluating their behaviour, you’re too busy justifying yourself and feeling ashamed.
5. Blame-Shifting
If you ever dare to confront a narcissist about their behaviour, you’ll often find yourself somehow held responsible for everything. This is blame-shifting in action. You might point out a clear betrayal or a hurtful comment, only to hear, “You’re too sensitive,” or, “You always overreact.” In this way, your genuine concerns are invalidated and repackaged as personal flaws. The narcissist becomes the victim, and you become the aggressor, even when you were simply trying to express your feelings.
6. Future Faking
Future faking is when a narcissist makes promises about a future they have no intention of delivering. They might talk about marriage, children, moving in together, or starting a business — anything to keep you invested and hopeful. These promises create a powerful emotional hook, convincing you that things will get better if you just hold on a little longer. But when the time comes to act, they either change the story or claim they never said it in the first place. You are left feeling duped and foolish, blaming yourself for believing in their words.
7. Emotional Whiplash
Narcissists are experts at alternating between love and cruelty. One day you’re adored, showered with affection and praise. The next, you’re ignored, criticised, or humiliated. This unpredictable cycle is deliberate. It keeps you anxious and desperate for the “good” version of them to return. You learn to tolerate mistreatment in the hope of glimpsing the caring person you first met. This emotional rollercoaster isn’t about love — it’s about control. When you’re kept off balance, you are easier to manipulate.
Why It’s Not You
These behaviours are not simply signs of a difficult personality. They are deliberate strategies designed to destabilise you. If you’ve been subjected to them, it’s common to feel humiliated, exhausted, and convinced that you’re the problem. But you’re not. You were targeted because you have qualities the narcissist lacks — empathy, integrity, and the ability to love sincerely.
If any of this feels familiar, please know you are not alone and you are not going mad. You are experiencing psychological abuse. Recovery starts by recognising these tactics for what they are: a reflection of the narcissist’s dysfunction, not your failings.
Take Back Your Power
It is possible to heal from this experience. Begin by trusting your gut again — the voice that told you something was wrong. Set firm boundaries, even if the narcissist tries to make you feel guilty for doing so. Seek support from people who understand these dynamics and won’t dismiss your experiences.
Remember, clarity is your strongest weapon against confusion. The moment you start to see these patterns, you weaken their grip. You deserve a life free from mind games and emotional chaos. You deserve peace.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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7 Things Narcissists Do to Drive You Crazy (And Why You’re Not the Problem).
