7 Narcissistic Texting Habits to Watch Out For (And How They Compare to Genuine Communication)
7 Narcissistic Texting Habits to Watch Out For (And How They Compare to Genuine Communication)
Mike Sullivan 7 Unusual Texting Habits of Narcissists (and How They Compare to Genuine People)
Texting can be a window into a person’s behaviour, especially when it comes to narcissists. Narcissistic texting habits often reveal their desire for control, attention, and validation. If you’ve ever found yourself confused, hurt, or emotionally drained from text exchanges, you may be dealing with someone whose communication style is shaped by narcissistic traits. Let’s take a look at seven texting habits commonly exhibited by narcissists and how they compare to the behaviours of genuine people.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
1. Love Bombing with Excessive Flattery
Narcissists: At the start of a relationship, narcissists often flood their targets with excessive praise and flattery. This “love bombing” can seem intoxicating at first, as they shower you with compliments, promises of forever, and declarations of love. They want to create an instant bond and make you feel like you’re the most special person in the world. The goal is to gain your attention, trust, and affection as quickly as possible.
Genuine People: A real connection with someone starts with genuine interest and respect, not overwhelming compliments. While a healthy person may express affection, it comes over time through consistent actions that demonstrate care and respect. Genuine love and affection aren’t rushed but evolve as trust and connection develop naturally.
Comparison: The difference here is that narcissists use love bombing to manipulate and gain control. A real person’s affection grows organically and is often matched by actions that back up their words.
2. Delayed or Ignored Replies (Silent Treatment)
Narcissists: One of the most common tactics narcissists use is the delayed or ignored reply. They might purposely take hours, or even days, to respond to your message, often leaving you feeling anxious and uncertain. This is a form of control; it makes you second-guess your worth and their level of interest in you. If you question them about the silence, they may even act as if you’re being unreasonable.
Genuine People: A person who genuinely cares will respond in a timely manner and communicate when they can. While everyone can get busy or distracted, they’ll typically offer a simple explanation or let you know when they’ll be available to talk. There’s no deliberate disregard or power play at work. Or they can read think they responded and didn’t, yet take full responsibility.
Comparison: While narcissists use silence to create doubt and anxiety, a real person communicates openly about their availability and is considerate of your emotional needs. Deliberate delays are a red flag in a narcissistic dynamic.
3. Rapid Shifts Between Idealisation and Criticism
Narcissists: Narcissists have a habit of swinging between extreme idealisation and harsh criticism. One day, they may send affectionate texts, telling you you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them. Next, they may criticise something you said or did, making you feel small and inadequate. This unpredictability keeps you off-balance and emotionally dependent, as you’re always seeking their approval.
Genuine People: In contrast, a real person will express both affection and constructive criticism in a balanced way. They offer genuine feedback without using it to tear you down. If they’re upset, they communicate calmly and respectfully, and they don’t flip-flop between adoration and disdain.
Comparison: The narcissist’s use of idealisation and criticism serves to manipulate and control. Genuine people communicate authentically, qsharing both the positives and the challenges of the relationship in a healthy way.
4. Overusing “I” Statements
Narcissists: A narcissist’s texting style often centers around themselves. They might dominate conversations with statements like, “I had a rough day,” or “I can’t believe this happened to me.” Even when you’re sharing something personal, they will find a way to turn the focus back on them, leaving you feeling unheard and unimportant.
Genuine People: Healthy relationships are characterised by balanced communication. While a genuine person might share their experiences, they’re also genuinely interested in yours. They listen and engage with empathy, offering thoughtful responses that acknowledge your feelings and experiences.
Comparison: Narcissists use excessive “I” statements to keep the focus on themselves and avoid validating others’ emotions. In contrast, genuine people create space for mutual exchange and support.
5. Ghosting and Sudden Reappearances (Hoovering)
Narcissists: Ghosting and sudden reappearances, also known as “hoovering,” are common narcissistic tactics. They might disappear for a while, only to suddenly reappear as if nothing happened. This often happens when the narcissist is feeling ignored or needs to regain control over you. The goal is to make you question where you stand and prompt you to re-engage.
Genuine People: While a genuine person might take time away from texting due to busy schedules or personal matters, they won’t suddenly disappear without explanation. If they need space, they communicate this openly, so you’re not left wondering what happened. Or mutual friends, family might not text for a while but it’s not one-sided.
Comparison: Ghosting is a manipulation tactic that a narcissist uses to keep you on your toes. A healthy person is open and consistent in their communication, providing clarity and respect.
6. Guilt-Trip Messages
Narcissists: If a narcissist doesn’t get their way, they may send passive-aggressive, guilt-inducing messages. For example, “I guess I’m the only one who cares,” or “I shouldn’t expect too much from people.” These types of messages are designed to make you feel responsible for their emotions, pressuring you to comply with their wishes.
Genuine People: Genuine people express their needs and feelings in a direct and respectful manner. They don’t resort to manipulative tactics to get what they want. If something is bothering them, they’ll communicate it clearly without trying to make you feel guilty.
Comparison: Narcissists use guilt trips as a tool for emotional manipulation, whereas real people engage in healthy, honest communication without resorting to emotional blackmail.
7. Triangulation by Mentioning Others
Narcissists: Narcissists may try to manipulate your emotions by mentioning other people in conversation. They might talk about an “admirer” or bring up ex-partners in a way that makes you feel threatened or insecure. This tactic, known as triangulation, is used to make you compete for their attention and validation.
Genuine People: A genuine person doesn’t play games by pitting others against you. They may mention other people in a neutral or positive way, but they don’t use others to manipulate or make you feel inferior. Their focus is on you, not on creating jealousy or insecurity.
Comparison: Narcissists create a competitive dynamic, using other people to stir up feelings of jealousy. Genuine individuals foster trust and openness, not insecurity.
7 Unusual Texting Habits Of A Narcissist You Need To Know
Recognizing Narcissistic Behavior
Understanding these seven texting habits can help you recognise narcissistic manipulation in your relationships. Narcissists often use these tactics to keep you emotionally entangled and uncertain of your worth. Their goal is to create confusion, maintain control, and secure their supply of admiration and attention.
In contrast, healthy relationships are characterised by open communication, respect for boundaries, and a genuine interest in one another’s feelings. If someone consistently exhibits narcissistic texting behaviour, it’s important to establish boundaries and prioritise your emotional well-being.
Remember, genuine people will value you for who you are, not just for what you can do for them. They won’t manipulate or play games with your emotions. Recognising these narcissistic texting habits early on can help you protect yourself from further emotional harm and allow you to foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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