7 Signs You’re in a Relationship With a Narcissist (And How to Spot the Red Flags Early)
7 Signs You’re in a Relationship With a Narcissist (And How to Spot the Red Flags Early)
Mike Sullivan 7 Signs of Narcissism in Personal Relationships
If you’re feeling confused, drained, or constantly second-guessing yourself around someone, you may be dealing with narcissistic behaviour. While not everyone with these traits has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the behaviours themselves can still be damaging, destabilising, and emotionally exhausting. Recognising the signs early can help protect your emotional well-being and prevent deeper entanglement with someone who thrives on control and self-centredness.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
Here are seven major red flags to watch for.
1. Superficial Charm
At the beginning, narcissists often come across as deeply charming, attentive, and unusually invested. They make you feel special, important, and seen — but this “connection” is manufactured.
Their charm is not genuine warmth. It’s a strategy.
They flatter instead of offering real compliments. They mirror your personality, interests, and emotional needs to create a sense of instant closeness. They appear too good to be true because they are actively trying to win you over, not because they care. This charm fades once they no longer need to maintain the façade. The early sweetness is not who they are — it’s bait.
2. Fast Involvement
One of the clearest red flags of narcissistic behaviour is the speed at which they push the relationship forward. They may tell you they’ve never met anyone like you, that they “just know,” or that you’re their soulmate. They introduce intense emotional intimacy before trust has been built.
They may talk about moving in, marriage, children, or a shared future within weeks.
This is not love — it’s dependency building.
The goal is to secure your commitment quickly, before you notice the contradictions, mood swings, or control tactics. As the saying goes: nobody falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs a place to live. They latch on fast not because they’re emotionally deep, but because they’re emotionally empty.
3. Impatience and Quick Anger
Pay close attention to how they handle normal frustrations. Traffic, queues, small mistakes by others, slow service — these everyday situations often trigger outsized irritation or anger in narcissistic individuals.
This pattern reveals two things:
a) low frustration tolerance
b) little to no empathy for others
They may talk badly about strangers, friends, family members, or service workers. They expect everything to go their way and become visibly annoyed when it doesn’t. This irritability often appears long before the more aggressive behaviours, making it one of the earliest signs that something is off.
4. One-Sided Conversations
In the beginning, they might pretend to care about your life, but this quickly fades. Soon, conversations revolve entirely around them — their achievements, their problems, their opinions, their needs.
They don’t listen to understand; they listen to gather information.
What you share early on may later be twisted, weaponised, or used against you in arguments. You may begin to feel unheard, unimportant, or drained after conversations because the emotional exchange is completely unbalanced.
A healthy relationship requires mutual interest. A narcissistic one revolves around one person only.
5. Selfishness and Entitlement
Narcissists believe the world owes them something. They show clear entitlement in the way they take your time, energy, money, or emotional labour while giving very little in return.
They expect support but rarely offer it.
They demand understanding but won’t extend it.
They want your resources but guard theirs closely.
Double standards become obvious: they can do whatever they want, but you cannot. They may criticise your behaviour while excusing their own. They may take the best for themselves while leaving you with the leftovers.
Entitlement is one of the core traits of narcissism, and it always shows itself eventually.
6. Isolation Tactics
A narcissist wants your full attention. The more dependent you become on them, the easier you are to control. That’s why isolation is one of their most common techniques — sometimes subtle, sometimes obvious.
They may:
- criticise your friends or family
- make you feel guilty for spending time with others
- create tension between you and people who care about you
- claim others are “bad influences” or “don’t want the best for you”
- monopolise your time
- sulk or punish you emotionally when you socialise
Bit by bit, your world shrinks while they become the centre of it.
When you’re isolated, you become easier to manipulate. You also lose the support and perspective that would help you see their behaviour clearly. This is why isolation is not accidental — it is a structural part of their control.
7. Lack of Empathy, Criticism, and Exaggeration
Narcissists often demonstrate a striking lack of empathy. They may show little concern for your feelings or the feelings of others, including animals. Emotional depth is replaced by superficial performance when it benefits them.
They frequently criticise to make others insecure.
They exaggerate achievements to appear superior.
Their stories rarely add up because they change details to suit the image they’re trying to project.
This behaviour isn’t occasional — it’s constant. It shapes how they interact with the world.
Changes in Yourself
Sometimes the biggest warning sign is not in their behaviour, but in your own reactions.
If you notice that you:
- make excuses for their behaviour
- justify their cruelty
- feel guilty for having needs
- doubt your instincts
- suppress your voice to keep the peace
- feel anxious when they’re unhappy
- feel confused more often than calm
…these are signs you are being emotionally manipulated.
Healthy relationships don’t make you question your sanity. Narcissistic ones do.
Final Thoughts
These signs rarely appear in isolation. One by one, they create a pattern that slowly chips away at your identity, confidence, and emotional safety.
Recognising them doesn’t mean you’re diagnosing someone. It means you’re protecting yourself.
When you know what narcissistic behaviour looks like, it loses its power. You stop internalising their criticisms and start trusting your instincts — the most reliable guide you have.
If you recognise these signs in someone you’re close to, you are not overreacting.
You are waking up to the truth.
And seeing the truth is the first step towards taking your power back.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
(Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Advertisements
Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.
On Facebook.
On YouTube.
On Twitter.
On Instagram.
On Pinterest.
On LinkedIn.
On TikTok
The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.
For the full course.
Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.
For the free course.
Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.
To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.
Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.
All about the narcissist Online course.
Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.
The narcissists counter-parenting.
Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.
