7 Things Narcissists Do When You Stop Chasing Them
7 Things Narcissists Do When You Stop Chasing Them
Mike Sullivan 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Don’t Chase After Them
Narcissists thrive on control, attention, and validation. One of their biggest fears is losing power over you. They spend so much time manipulating you into chasing them, so when you refuse to play their game, their mask starts to slip.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
If you’ve ever walked away from a narcissist and wondered what would happen next, here’s what you can expect.
1. They Double Down on the Silent Treatment
At first, they assume you’ll cave. Narcissists love using the silent treatment to punish and control. They expect you to panic, overthink, and reach out just to break the tension. But when you don’t? They extend it.
Days turn into weeks, maybe even months. They want you to feel abandoned and desperate. They hope the longer they ignore you, the more you’ll question yourself. They want you wondering, Did I do something wrong? Was I too harsh?
But here’s the truth: this silence isn’t about you. It’s a manipulation tool they’ve used before and will use again. The best response? Give them the silence back. Eventually, they’ll realise you’re not coming back, and that’s when they start to unravel.
2. They Post Indirect Messages or Photos
Social media is their playground. They know you might still be watching, so they start crafting a narrative, one where they are thriving without you.
Expect vague quotes about being “better off,” “finding happiness,” or “learning lessons.” They might share a picture looking carefree, making sure to tag places they know will catch your eye.
If they really want to get under your skin, they’ll include someone else in the picture. It could be a new romantic interest, a mutual friend, or even just a setting that brings back memories of your time together. The goal? To make you second-guess your decision to walk away.
Don’t fall for it. Everything they post is designed for a reaction. The best way to win this game? Don’t play it.
3. They Try to Make You Jealous
If their subtle social media hints don’t work, they’ll escalate. Now they’re openly talking about a “new love interest” or exaggerating how amazing their life is.
They might flaunt dates, nights out, or inside jokes with someone new. Even if they’re not actually seeing anyone, they’ll make it look like they are, because they want you to feel like you’ve lost them.
But think about it: if they were truly happy and moving on, why would they need to prove it to you? Because deep down, they’re not happy. They’re still watching you, waiting for you to react.
4. They Accuse You of Being the Problem
When they realise you’re not coming back, they change tactics. Suddenly, they’re the victim. They claim you abandoned them, led them on, or were never really invested in the first place.
“You never cared.”
“I guess I meant nothing to you.”
“I always knew you’d leave.”
It’s all designed to guilt-trip you into breaking no contact. They know you have empathy. They know you hate being misunderstood. And they’re hoping you’ll reach out just to defend yourself.
But here’s what you need to remember: you don’t owe them an explanation. Your silence speaks for itself. Stay strong.
5. They Reach Out Casually
If all else fails, they’ll test the waters with a harmless message.
“Hey, hope you’re doing well.”
“Just saw something that reminded me of you.”
“How have you been?”
On the surface, it seems innocent. But make no mistake, this is a trap. They want to see if they still have access to you. If you respond, even politely, it tells them there’s still a way back in.
Don’t fall for it. If they truly cared about how you were doing, they wouldn’t have mistreated you in the first place. Keep the door closed.
6. They Start Smearing Your Name
If they can’t control you, they’ll try to control how others see you. Narcissists hate losing, so if they can’t get you back, they’ll destroy your reputation instead.
They’ll start spreading lies, maybe saying you were manipulative, unstable, or even abusive. They’ll paint themselves as the one who tried so hard while you “threw everything away.”
The goal? To turn people against you and force you into defending yourself.
But here’s the trick: don’t engage. The truth will come out in time. The people who matter will see through their lies. And the ones who believe them? They were never really on your side to begin with.
7. They Suddenly Act Like the Victim
When all else fails, they pull the ultimate move: pity.
Now, they’re broken. Lost. Miserable without you. They’ll start telling mutual friends how much they regret everything. Maybe they’ll even message you directly, saying things like:
“I never thought you’d treat me this way.”
“I just don’t understand what I did to deserve this.”
“I guess I was never good enough for you.”
They want you to feel sorry for them. They want you to second-guess yourself and reach out.
But remember: this is the same person who ignored you, manipulated you, and tried to destroy your confidence. They don’t miss you. They miss controlling you.
Why Narcissists Hate When You Don’t Chase
Narcissists live for control. They don’t care about love, connection, or mutual respect. They care about power, and when you refuse to chase them, you take that power away.
This is why they cycle through so many manipulations, because they don’t know what to do when someone genuinely walks away.
So what should you do?
Stay silent. Stay strong. Stay gone.
They will try everything in their playbook, but if you hold firm, they’ll eventually give up and move on to their next target. And when they do, you’ll finally have the peace you deserve.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
(Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Advertisements
Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.
On Facebook.
On YouTube.
On Twitter.
On Instagram.
On Pinterest.
On LinkedIn.
On TikTok
The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.
For the full course.
Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.
For the free course.
Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.
To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.
Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.
All about the narcissist Online course.
Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.
The narcissists counter-parenting.
Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Final Thoughts
Walking away from a narcissist is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but it’s also the most powerful. You’re breaking free from their cycle, reclaiming your self-worth, and proving that you don’t need them to be happy.
They’ll try to punish you for leaving. They’ll try to bait you into reacting. But the best thing you can do? Give them nothing.
Because when you stop chasing, you win.
