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7 Things That Crush a Narcissist’s Ego | How to Deflate Their Power and Take Back Control

7 Things That Crush a Narcissist’s Ego | How to Deflate Their Power and Take Back Control
Blog Post / Coaching

7 Things That Crush a Narcissist’s Ego | How to Deflate Their Power and Take Back Control

7 Things That Crush a Narcissist’s Ego

Narcissists are individuals who crave admiration, control, and attention. They derive their sense of worth from external sources, particularly from how others perceive them. As a result, they often go to great lengths to maintain their inflated sense of superiority. However, there are specific actions you can take that undermine this fragile ego and weaken their control over you. These actions not only destabilise their sense of self but can also help you regain your autonomy and emotional peace.

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist

1. Ignoring Them

Narcissists thrive on attention, validation, and being the centre of attention. The more they can manipulate others into focusing on them, the more they feel important. This is why ignoring a narcissist can be incredibly powerful. When you stop reacting to their attempts for attention, it sends a message that their presence doesn’t have the effect they expect.

Ignoring them forces a narcissist to confront the fact that their behaviour doesn’t command the respect or admiration they so desperately need. The lack of attention shatters their sense of importance and leaves them feeling insignificant and powerless. It’s a painful reminder for them that, despite their efforts to dominate a situation, they are not in control. By refusing to engage with their demands for attention, you are denying them the fuel they rely on to maintain their sense of superiority. Over time, this can lead to frustration and resentment on their part.

2. Setting Boundaries

Narcissists have a deep-seated need for control, which is why they resist boundaries with every fibre of their being. Boundaries limit their power and prevent them from using people to meet their needs. When you stand firm in setting boundaries and enforcing them consistently, you challenge their authority.

For example, if a narcissist attempts to manipulate or push your limits, asserting your boundaries will communicate that you won’t allow them to trample over your needs and desires. This directly threatens their sense of control. They may try to make you feel guilty or make false promises, but holding firm exposes their inability to dominate you. Narcissists loathe rejection because it challenges their belief in their invincibility, and setting boundaries forces them to acknowledge that they cannot control every aspect of your life.

3. Remaining Unmoved by Their Manipulation

Narcissists are experts in manipulation. They use guilt, shame, gaslighting, and other psychological tactics to bend others to their will. Whether it’s emotional blackmail or exaggerated victimhood, narcissists use manipulation as a tool to maintain control. When you refuse to fall for their tactics and remain unmoved by their attempts, it destabilizes their ego.

Narcissists rely on reactions, when they can provoke a response, they feel powerful. However, when you stay calm, composed, and unaffected by their manipulative behaviour, it renders their tactics useless. A narcissist’s sense of superiority comes from their ability to get under people’s skin, so when you don’t react, it frustrates them. The longer you remain unmoved, the more their confidence in their ability to control people erodes, causing their ego to deflate. Narcissists need your emotional reactions to feel in control, so taking that away can be incredibly disempowering for them.

4. Calling Out Their Lies

Narcissists are prone to exaggerating the truth, fabricating stories, and spreading false narratives to make themselves appear more powerful or superior. They rely on these lies to manipulate how others perceive them and gain validation. When you call out their lies and expose inconsistencies, you directly challenge their constructed image of themselves.

By confronting their dishonesty, you show them that their inflated sense of self is not as foolproof as they believe. Narcissists want to be seen as infallible, and when you expose their lies, it shatters their facade. This makes them feel vulnerable and exposed, which bruises their ego. They may react with defensiveness or aggression, but inside, they feel diminished. When their lies are no longer accepted, they lose the power they once had over others, and their sense of invincibility takes a blow.

5. Being Independent

Narcissists thrive on controlling others, and they often seek out individuals who are emotionally dependent on them. Their ego is tied to their ability to dominate, manipulate, and influence others. When you display independence and self-sufficiency, it threatens their sense of control and power over you.

Being independent shows that you do not need their approval or validation to be successful or content. Narcissists are not accustomed to people who can thrive without them, and your strength will likely make them feel insecure. They may attempt to undermine your independence or try to belittle your accomplishments, but the fact that you don’t rely on them for validation deeply hurts their ego. Narcissists need to feel that they are the most important person in your life, and when you show that you can thrive on your own, it undermines their sense of self-worth.

6. Moving On Without Them

Narcissists believe they are irreplaceable. They think they are the centre of everyone’s world and that their absence would cause irreparable damage. This belief is rooted in their deep fear of abandonment and rejection. When you move on without them, whether it’s recovering from a relationship or continuing to succeed after they are no longer part of your life, you challenge their belief that they are the most important figure in your existence.

If you move on, it sends the message that they are not as irreplaceable as they think. Narcissists believe that if you no longer need them, you are somehow rejecting their worth. This rejection, whether emotional or physical, hits their ego hard. It forces them to confront the fact that they are not the centre of your universe, and that realisation leaves them feeling abandoned, irrelevant, and unimportant.

7. Not Seeking Their Approval

Narcissists crave admiration and validation, and they love to control how others perceive them. One of the most significant ways they maintain their inflated ego is by securing the approval of those around them. They want to be admired, respected, and praised for their perceived greatness.

When you stop seeking their approval and stop catering to their need for validation, you challenge their ability to influence your emotions. Narcissists derive a significant part of their identity from others’ admiration, so when you no longer seek their approval, their power over you begins to crumble. Without the constant supply of validation, their fragile ego is exposed, and they may feel desperate to regain control or attention. By no longer seeking their validation, you send a clear message: their opinion no longer defines your worth.

7 Things That Crush a Narcissist’s Ego | How to Deflate Their Power

Narcissists rely on external validation, control, and manipulation to maintain their fragile sense of self-importance. Each of the actions outlined above challenges the foundation of their inflated ego, causing them to confront their insecurities and vulnerabilities. Whether it’s ignoring them, setting boundaries, calling out their lies, or moving on without them, these actions destabilize their sense of superiority and force them to confront the reality that they are not infallible.

Taking these steps not only weakens their power but also helps you reclaim your own sense of self-worth and independence. While narcissists may retaliate or try to regain control, the more you assert your boundaries and refuse to feed into their manipulation, the less power they will have over you. Ultimately, these actions serve as a reminder that the narcissist’s ego is more fragile than they would like to admit, and you have the ability to stand firm and protect your emotional peace.

Check these out! 

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

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