7 Ways a Narcissist Reacts When You Stop Giving Them Attention

Narcissists thrive on attention. It’s the fuel that powers their ego, keeps them in control, and validates their sense of superiority. The moment you stop feeding their need for attention, they notice—and they react. Understanding these reactions is key to protecting your energy, maintaining your boundaries, and reclaiming control over your own life. Here are seven common behaviours to watch for when a narcissist no longer receives the attention they crave.

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist

1. Love Bombing

One of the most immediate reactions is love bombing. Suddenly, they shower you with compliments, gifts, or apologies. It can feel confusing because the behaviour seems caring or generous at first glance. This tactic is designed to pull you back in, to remind you of the “good times,” and to make you question your decision to distance yourself.

If you’ve experienced this, it’s normal to feel conflicted. The gestures are not genuine attempts to repair a relationship—they are manipulative tools. Love bombing is a way for a narcissist to regain control and ensure you remain emotionally invested. Recognising it for what it is helps you see the pattern and resist being drawn back into old cycles.

2. Explosive Anger

When charm and manipulation fail, narcissists often resort to anger. Outbursts, shouting, or even threats may appear designed to provoke a reaction. This anger isn’t about resolving issues; it’s about asserting dominance and punishing you for withdrawing attention.

Experiencing explosive anger can leave you feeling anxious or guilty, as though you’ve done something wrong. Remember: the anger is a reflection of their frustration at losing control, not a measure of your worth. Maintaining your boundaries in the face of their outbursts is a critical step toward reclaiming your emotional independence.

3. Guilt Trips

Guilt-tripping is a subtle yet powerful tactic. Narcissists may say things like, “After all I’ve done for you,” or “You’re being selfish,” aiming to make you feel guilty for setting boundaries. These statements are meant to manipulate your emotions and make you question whether distancing yourself is acceptable.

It’s important to recognise that setting boundaries is not selfish—it is necessary for your well-being. Guilt trips are a hallmark of narcissistic behaviour and should not influence your decisions. Trusting your instincts and standing firm is key to preserving your energy and mental health.

4. Playing the Victim

Narcissists are skilled at rewriting reality. They often twist your story to others, portraying themselves as the innocent party and casting you as the “problem.” This victim stance allows them to garner sympathy and support from friends, family, or colleagues while undermining your credibility.

If you notice others being influenced by their narrative, remember that you are not alone. Their version of events is constructed to maintain control, and it does not reflect the truth. Staying grounded in your perspective and seeking support from trusted individuals can help you navigate this manipulation.

5. Smear Campaign

When silence continues and they cannot regain control through charm or guilt, narcissists may escalate to a smear campaign. This involves spreading lies or half-truths to tarnish your reputation and regain influence over your social circle. The goal is to destabilise you emotionally while reasserting their perceived dominance.

If you become a target, documenting interactions and maintaining distance is crucial. Your credibility is not defined by their attempts to manipulate perception. Over time, consistent boundaries and emotional detachment can neutralise the effectiveness of these campaigns.

6. Hoovering Attempts

Hoovering is a common tactic where narcissists try to pull you back in after you’ve started to detach. They may return with promises of change, declarations of self-awareness, or expressions of regret: “I’ve learned my lesson.” These attempts are rarely genuine; they are strategic manoeuvres to reclaim your energy and re-establish control.

Recognising hoovering attempts is essential. Responding with caution, maintaining boundaries, and prioritising your emotional safety prevents you from being drawn back into cycles of manipulation.

7. Moving On

Finally, when all other tactics fail, narcissists will seek attention elsewhere. This can be painful to witness, especially if you hoped their behaviour would change. However, it is also proof that your silence and detachment worked—they lost control over your attention.

Seeing them move on may trigger complex emotions, including relief, sadness, or lingering guilt. Allow yourself to process these feelings while remaining firm in your boundaries. Your energy belongs to you, and their pursuit of validation from others does not diminish your strength.

Conclusion

Refusing to react to a narcissist’s attempts at manipulation is a powerful act of self-preservation. Whether through love bombing, anger, guilt-tripping, or hoovering, these behaviours are designed to keep you invested in their control. By recognising the patterns, maintaining clear boundaries, and protecting your emotional energy, you reclaim your autonomy and reduce their influence over your life.

For those seeking further guidance on understanding narcissistic behaviour and setting effective boundaries, resources like A Narcissist’s Handbook provide practical strategies for healing and empowerment. Protecting your energy is not only possible—it is your right.

Check these out! 

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future

(Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw

Advertisements

Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

On TikTok 

 The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.