7 Ways Narcissists Make You Feel Negative Emotions and How They Respond When Called Out
7 Ways Narcissists Make You Feel Negative Emotions and How They Respond When Called Out
Mike Sullivan Narcissists are masters at manipulating emotions, leaving their targets feeling confused, insecure, and emotionally drained. Their tactics are designed to undermine your self-esteem and maintain control over you. Here’s a deeper look at seven negative ways narcissists make you feel and their responses when you confront their behaviour:
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
- Unworthy: Narcissists constantly criticise and belittle you, focusing on your flaws and shortcomings while dismissing your strengths. This ongoing negativity aims to erode your self-esteem, making you feel like you’re never good enough. When you bring up their hurtful comments, they might respond with, “You’re too sensitive,” deflecting responsibility and invalidating your feelings. This response not only makes you question your reactions but also reinforces their position of superiority.
- Guilty: Narcissists excel at guilt-tripping, making you feel responsible for their unhappiness or unmet needs. They may use statements like, “I’ve done so much for you, and this is how you repay me?” to manipulate you into complying with their demands. This tactic shifts the focus from their unreasonable expectations to your supposed failings, making you feel unjustly guilty and compelled to meet their endless demands.
- Confused: Through gaslighting, narcissists distort reality to make you doubt your own perceptions and memories. They might deny that certain events occurred or twist the truth to suit their narrative, leaving you disoriented and questioning your sanity. When you challenge their version of events, they might respond with, “That never happened. You’re imagining things,” which further destabilises your sense of reality and increases their control over you.
- Isolated: Narcissists often isolate you from friends and family to increase their control over you. They may create conflicts or sow distrust between you and your loved ones, making you more reliant on them. If you confront them about this isolation, they might say, “They don’t care about you like I do,” manipulating you into believing that only they truly understand and support you. This tactic deepens your dependence on the narcissist, further isolating you from your support network.
- Fearful: Narcissists use threats and intimidation to control your behaviour, making you fear upsetting them. This fear can prevent you from expressing your true feelings or standing up for yourself. When you call out their intimidating behaviour, they might retort with, “You’re overreacting,” dismissing your genuine concerns and making you question whether your fears are justified. This response reinforces their control and keeps you in a state of constant apprehension.
- Exhausted: The relentless emotional manipulation and high demands of a narcissist can leave you feeling drained and exhausted. They may dismiss your feelings of fatigue by accusing you of being lazy or ungrateful. Statements like, “You’re just lazy,” turn your exhaustion into a personal fault, further depleting your energy and making you feel inadequate. This tactic keeps you in a constant state of exhaustion, reducing your ability to resist their manipulation.
- Insecure: Narcissists frequently compare you to others, highlighting perceived strengths and successes of others to make you feel inadequate. This tactic is designed to undermine your self-confidence and create feelings of insecurity. When you confront them about these comparisons, they might respond with, “You’re just jealous,” invalidating your feelings and shifting the blame onto you. This response reinforces your insecurity and diverts attention from their manipulative behaviour.
These tactics are designed to keep you emotionally off-balance and under their control. By making you feel unworthy, guilty, confused, isolated, fearful, exhausted, and insecure, narcissists create a dynamic where you are constantly questioning yourself and your perceptions. Recognising these patterns is crucial for reclaiming your sense of self and breaking free from their manipulative influence. Understanding how these behaviours work can help you set healthier boundaries and regain control over your emotional well-being.
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