7 Surprising Things Narcissists Envy (But Will Never Admit)

One defining trait of narcissists is their deep-rooted envy, both of others and the belief that others are envious of them. This dynamic feeds into their inflated self-image and drives many of their manipulative behaviours. Narcissists often believe they are the centre of attention, assuming others are jealous of their perceived success, attractiveness, or status. They fabricate scenarios where they imagine others scheming against them out of envy, reinforcing their own sense of superiority and victimhood. This false narrative helps them justify their toxic actions. At the same time, their own deep envy of others is a secret that narcissists try to hide, while letting it fuel their sabotaging and controlling tendencies.

Narcissists often manipulate situations to provoke jealousy in others and fuel their own claims that people are envious of them. Here are six common tactics they use:

1. Triangulation: Narcissists involve a third party to stir up jealousy. For example, they may praise someone else in front of you or compare you to others, creating competition. This tactic is designed to make you feel insecure and provoke jealousy.
2. Bragging About Success: Narcissists exaggerate their achievements and material possessions to seem superior. They flaunt their accomplishments to make others feel inadequate, then accuse people of being envious when they’re simply unimpressed or indifferent.
3. Posting on Social Media: Narcissists carefully curate their social media presence to showcase an idealised version of their lives. By displaying expensive vacations, luxury purchases, or social connections, they aim to provoke jealousy in others while asserting that people are envious of their “success.”
4. Feigning Indifference: Narcissists often act as if they are unaffected by others, pretending that everyone is jealous of their ability to remain cool and aloof. This can provoke feelings of insecurity in others, who may feel ignored or dismissed.
5. Playing the Victim: Narcissists often manipulate others into feeling jealous by positioning themselves as the victim in situations. They claim others are out to sabotage them due to jealousy, shifting blame and making others question their own reactions.
6. Romantic Rivalries: Narcissists frequently create jealousy in romantic relationships by flirting with others or withholding affection, all while accusing their partners of being “too insecure” or “jealous” to keep them off balance.

By using these tactics, narcissists manufacture jealousy and create a false narrative that others are envious of their lives, all while deflecting attention from their own insecurities.

A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.

Narcissists often envy both tangible and intangible aspects of other people’s lives. Here are seven common areas where narcissists harbour jealousy and resentment, even if they would never admit it openly:

1. Other People’s Success

Narcissists are profoundly envious of others’ achievements, whether it’s in their careers, education, or personal milestones. They feel entitled to success, believing it should come to them easily, but are often unwilling to put in the sustained effort required to reach those accomplishments. When they see others excelling, especially through hard work and dedication, it stirs intense resentment. Narcissists may mask this envy by downplaying others’ success or criticising them, all while feeling slighted for not being in the same position. In their minds, they deserve accolades without having to work for them, and seeing someone else achieve what they believe should be theirs is deeply threatening.

For example, a narcissist might minimise a coworker’s promotion, claiming it was due to favouritism or luck rather than merit. Behind this dismissal lies a powerful sense of inadequacy. Narcissists want the outward signs of success—the titles, the recognition, the praise—without the dedication it often takes to get there. This discrepancy fuels their bitter jealousy, leading them to undermine or discredit others who excel.

2. Material Possessions

Narcissists also envy the possessions of others, especially luxury items, cars, homes, or anything that symbolises wealth and status. To a narcissist, external displays of success are incredibly important because they use them to measure their own self-worth. When they see others with more, it triggers insecurity and envy. Narcissists might covet the material wealth of those around them, constantly comparing what they have against others, even going so far as to make reckless financial decisions in an attempt to keep up.

For instance, if a neighbour buys a new car, the narcissist might rush to buy one that’s even more expensive, regardless of whether they can afford it. This is because they view material possessions not just as things but as symbols of superiority. To a narcissist, being outdone in terms of possessions is intolerable, so they strive to overcompensate, often to their own detriment. Their envy drives them to outshine others, even if it leads to financial instability.

3. Physical Appearance

Another common source of envy for narcissists is physical appearance. Narcissists often feel inferior when it comes to attractiveness, fitness, or how others admire someone’s looks. Even though they may project confidence or obsess over their own image, they secretly harbour deep insecurities. When they encounter someone who is more attractive or physically fit, their jealousy takes over, and they might cope by criticising or devaluing that person to feel better about their own appearance.

For example, a narcissist may see a colleague who receives compliments on their looks and respond by making snide remarks, trying to bring that person down. They might say, “They must spend all their time at the gym, no wonder they aren’t focused on work,” or, “It’s just genetics; they didn’t earn it.” By devaluing others’ physical attributes, narcissists protect their fragile egos from feeling inadequate.

4. Social Status

Narcissists crave admiration and validation, so it’s no surprise that they envy people who have social standing, influence, or popularity. Whether it’s in professional networks, friend circles, or social media, narcissists are deeply resentful of those who naturally attract attention and respect. They want to be the centre of admiration and can’t stand to see others outshine them. This drives them to sabotage relationships, spread rumours, or undermine the achievements of those they envy.

For instance, a narcissist may spread gossip about a well-liked colleague, hoping to tarnish their reputation and bring them down a notch. In social situations, they might hog conversations, redirect attention to themselves, or diminish the accomplishments of others to maintain their perceived superiority. Narcissists cannot stand being in the background and will go to great lengths to regain the spotlight.

5. Talent and Skills

Narcissists can also be intensely jealous of others’ unique talents or skills, especially if those abilities bring recognition. Whether it’s artistic talent, athletic prowess, or intellectual achievement, narcissists envy what they cannot replicate. They resent others who receive admiration for their gifts, particularly if they feel overshadowed by these skills.

For example, if someone in their circle is a talented musician, the narcissist might diminish that person’s abilities by saying, “It’s not that hard to learn; they’re just lucky,” while secretly wishing they could play as well. Narcissists may also try to outdo others in areas where they feel insecure, downplaying the significance of someone else’s skill to make themselves feel superior. This type of envy leads them to devalue others’ talents while inflating their own self-importance.

6. Happiness in Relationships

Narcissists struggle to maintain meaningful, healthy relationships, so they envy people who enjoy strong bonds with others. They are particularly resentful of couples or friendships that are built on trust, love, and mutual respect—qualities that narcissists cannot provide or fully experience in their own relationships. When they witness happy couples or close friendships, narcissists often attempt to disrupt those bonds out of envy.

For instance, a narcissist might subtly plant seeds of doubt or distrust in a happy couple’s relationship, hoping to cause a rift. They might say things like, “Are you sure they’re being faithful? I wouldn’t trust them if I were you.” By doing this, narcissists aim to fracture the connection they envy, all while masking their jealousy.

7. Financial Security

Lastly, narcissists are envious of those who have financial security, especially if it comes from hard work and smart decisions. While narcissists often chase wealth and status, their impulsive or reckless behaviour can leave them feeling financially unstable. Seeing others who have achieved financial independence through discipline and effort fuels their resentment.

A narcissist might downplay someone’s financial success, saying, “They only got rich because they had help,” or, “They were just in the right place at the right time.” By devaluing the achievements of others, narcissists shield themselves from facing their own financial insecurities and poor decision-making.

7 Surprising Things Narcissists Envy (But Will Never Admit.)

The deep envy that narcissists harbour drives much of their toxic behaviour. They constantly compare themselves to others, and when they fall short, their jealousy leads them to undermine, criticise, or sabotage those around them. Narcissists’ inability to cope with their own feelings of inadequacy means they often project envy onto others while hiding the deep-rooted jealousy that motivates them. This combination of self-pity and resentment becomes a destructive force in their relationships, as they continually seek to tear down what they cannot achieve.

Check these out!

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future

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