7 Strange Things Narcissists Do When You Start Succeeding
7 Strange Things Narcissists Do When You Start Succeeding
Mike Sullivan 7 Strange Behaviours of a Narcissist When You’re Trying to Achieve Your Goals
Achieving personal goals takes motivation, focus, and perseverance. But when you’re dealing with a narcissist, even simple progress can become an uphill battle. Whether it’s getting fit, building your career, or improving your life in any way, a narcissist often sees your growth as a threat to their control. They can’t stand seeing you happy, confident, or independent — because it means they’re losing power over you.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
Here are seven strange, yet common, behaviours narcissists display when you start working towards your goals.
1. Minimising Your Achievements
When you accomplish something you’re proud of, the narcissist rarely celebrates it with genuine enthusiasm. Instead, they’ll find a way to make it seem insignificant or undeserved. If you get a promotion, they might say, “You only got it because they like you,” or if you reach a fitness goal, they’ll shrug and say, “It’s not that impressive.”
This behaviour isn’t random — it’s calculated. Narcissists thrive on superiority and control. Your success threatens the illusion that they’re more capable, talented, or important. By belittling your achievements, they regain psychological dominance and keep you doubting yourself.
Over time, you might even start to minimise your own accomplishments just to avoid their disapproval.
2. Comparing You to Others
A narcissist can’t stand seeing you shine, so they’ll quickly shift attention away from your success by comparing you to someone else. You might hear things like, “My friend lost twice as much weight,” or “Your colleague works harder than you.”
These comparisons are meant to create insecurity and prevent you from feeling proud of your progress. In their mind, if they can make you question your worth, you’ll stay dependent on their validation.
Narcissists see relationships as competitions rather than partnerships. They’re constantly measuring themselves — and you — against others. Your growth becomes a reminder of their stagnation, and instead of being inspired, they become resentful.
3. Sabotaging Your Efforts
When all else fails, narcissists will actively interfere with your progress. They might distract you before an important exam, start an argument before your job interview, or tempt you away from your routine with emotional drama.
For example, if you’re trying to save money, they might guilt-trip you into expensive outings. If you’re focused on a health goal, they might bring junk food into the house “as a treat.” These actions may seem small, but they’re deliberate attempts to derail your focus.
A narcissist can’t bear to see you grow beyond their control, so they create chaos to keep you emotionally exhausted and distracted. Their goal isn’t just to stop your progress — it’s to make you believe you are the problem for not being “balanced” or “supportive enough.”
4. Gaslighting Your Motivation
When you set a personal goal, you do it because it makes you feel fulfilled. But to a narcissist, your motivation is something to be questioned or mocked. They might say things like, “You’re obsessed,” “You’ve changed,” or “Why are you even doing this?”
These comments are designed to make you doubt your reasons for wanting better. They twist your confidence into something selfish or superficial. Over time, this can cause you to lose enthusiasm and even feel guilty for wanting to improve yourself.
Gaslighting is one of their most powerful weapons. By confusing your sense of purpose, they regain control over your decisions — making you second-guess what you know is right for you.
5. Hoarding Attention
When you start achieving something meaningful, the narcissist often feels left out. They can’t handle not being the centre of attention, so they find ways to pull the spotlight back onto themselves.
You might notice they suddenly have a “crisis” whenever you’re celebrating progress — perhaps they get ill, start an argument, or make a scene. It’s no coincidence. They’re hijacking your moment to remind you that everything must revolve around them.
This behaviour can be exhausting. You end up downplaying your success just to keep the peace. But this is exactly what they want — to make sure your focus, time, and emotional energy stay with them, not your goals.
6. Withholding Support
A narcissist will rarely, if ever, support your ambitions. When you’re excited about something, they act indifferent or dismissive. You’ll hear lukewarm comments like, “That’s nice, I guess,” or they’ll change the subject entirely.
Their lack of enthusiasm is strategic. Encouraging you would mean acknowledging your growth, which challenges their sense of superiority. By withholding emotional support, they maintain a subtle power imbalance — you’re always seeking approval that never comes.
In healthy relationships, partners or friends celebrate each other’s wins. With a narcissist, the dynamic is one-sided: your success is seen as their loss.
7. Love-Bombing to Distract You
When all else fails, the narcissist might suddenly become affectionate and charming — the same way they were during the early “love-bombing” phase of the relationship. They’ll shower you with attention, compliments, or gifts, making you feel seen and appreciated again.
But this change isn’t genuine. It’s a distraction tactic. By flooding you with affection, they pull your focus away from your goals and back onto them. You might skip the gym to spend time with them, or abandon your study plans because they “really need you tonight.”
Once they feel they’ve regained control, the affection fades, and you’re left wondering what went wrong. The cycle repeats — progress, sabotage, confusion, guilt.
Why Narcissists Do This
At the core of narcissistic behaviour is insecurity. Despite their outward arrogance, narcissists struggle deeply with feelings of inadequacy. Your achievements highlight what they lack — discipline, drive, and emotional maturity.
When they see you improving your life, it shatters the image they’ve built of being the superior one. So they do whatever they can to restore that imbalance, even if it means destroying your confidence.
Their goal isn’t to see you fail for failure’s sake — it’s to make sure they remain in control of how you feel about yourself.
Protecting Your Energy
Recognising these behaviours is the first step to breaking free from their influence. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting to grow or do better for yourself.
Set firm boundaries. Don’t explain your goals in detail to someone who uses your vulnerability against you. Surround yourself with supportive, genuine people who celebrate your progress without competition or criticism.
If you start to feel guilty for prioritising your goals, remind yourself: healthy people encourage growth — toxic ones fear it.
Your success doesn’t need validation. Keep moving forward, stay focused, and protect your peace. The narcissist’s manipulation only works if you let it.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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In summary: Narcissists may try to minimise, compare, sabotage, gaslight, distract, or ignore your progress because your growth threatens their control. But remember — your goals are about you, not them. Every step you take towards bettering your life weakens their grip. Keep shining, even when they try to dim your light.
