Monkey-Branching: How Narcissists Line Up Their Next Victim Before Letting Go of You

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it rarely ends cleanly. Instead of closing one chapter before starting another, narcissists tend to overlap. They hold on to one person while quietly securing the next — a behaviour known as monkey-branching.

Much like a monkey swinging from one branch to another, the narcissist refuses to let go of one “supply” until another is firmly within reach. It’s not about love, commitment, or connection. It’s about control, validation, and constant attention.

Monkey-branching isn’t just about infidelity; it’s emotional survival for a narcissist. They fear abandonment and rejection, so they ensure they’re never without a backup source of admiration.

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist

Let’s explore the key signs and the devastating emotional effects this behaviour has — and how to protect yourself when you spot it.

1. They Start to Withdraw Emotionally

One of the earliest signs of monkey-branching is a shift in emotional availability. They become distracted, detached, or irritated for no clear reason. Conversations feel shallow, and your connection begins to fade.

This withdrawal isn’t random — it’s strategic. They’re slowly detaching from you while investing that energy elsewhere. You may find yourself chasing their attention, trying to fix what feels broken, unaware that they’ve already started looking for someone new.

2. Their Charm Shifts to Someone Else

Narcissists are masters of charm — but it’s rarely consistent. The same energy and affection they once showered on you suddenly gets redirected. You might notice them flirting, complimenting others more, or developing “friendships” that seem suspiciously intimate.

This charm shift serves two purposes: it secures a new admirer and makes you feel insecure, triggering you to work harder for their approval. To the narcissist, this dual attention keeps both people invested — you out of fear, and the new person out of excitement.

3. Secretive Behaviour Increases

Monkey-branching thrives in secrecy. You may notice their phone always turned face down, sudden late nights at work, or vague explanations about who they’re messaging. They guard their privacy with intensity, often accusing you of being paranoid or controlling if you question them.

This deflection is part of the manipulation. By making you doubt your instincts, they protect their secret — and keep both relationships running smoothly for as long as possible.

4. You’re Suddenly Being Compared to Others

Once they’ve found potential new supply, narcissists start comparing you — often subtly. They might mention how “fun” or “understanding” someone else is, or how “easy-going” another person seems compared to you.

These comments aren’t harmless. They’re designed to make you question yourself while idealising the new person. This comparison fuels your insecurity and strengthens their emotional control.

5. They Create Opportunities to Meet New Supply

Narcissists rarely leave their next opportunity to chance. They’ll start attending new social events, joining online groups, or reconnecting with old flames. On the surface, it looks like personal growth or networking. In reality, it’s recruitment— a search for their next source of validation.

They thrive on attention and admiration, so anywhere they can be admired, they’ll go. Whether it’s through work, social media, or hobbies, their need for constant supply drives them to seek new options before the current relationship even ends.

6. Triangulation: Playing People Against Each Other

Triangulation is a classic narcissistic tactic, and during monkey-branching, it becomes obvious. They bring a third person into the dynamic — not always physically, but emotionally. They may talk about this new person in glowing terms, or let you know that “someone else” finds them attractive.

This creates competition and confusion. You start doubting your place in their life, while they sit back and enjoy the attention. To the narcissist, triangulation reinforces their power — having two people vying for their approval boosts their fragile ego.

7. Future Faking — With Both People

Narcissists often make big promises about the future they never intend to keep. During monkey-branching, they’ll do this with both you and the new person. You might still hear plans about holidays, moving in, or starting fresh — even as they’re making the same promises to someone else.

These empty assurances are meant to keep you compliant while they test the waters with the next person. Once the new supply is secure, they’ll discard you without warning, leaving you confused, heartbroken, and wondering what went wrong.

The Emotional Damage of Monkey-Branching

Discovering you’ve been monkey-branched is deeply painful. It’s not just betrayal — it’s dehumanising. You realise that while you were emotionally invested, they were already plotting their exit strategy.

Victims often describe feeling worthless, replaceable, and humiliated. You question your intuition, your self-worth, and your memories of the relationship. It’s a trauma that leaves emotional scars long after the narcissist has moved on.

But it’s important to remember — the problem isn’t you. Narcissists can’t sustain real intimacy because they view relationships as transactions, not connections. Their loyalty extends only as far as your usefulness.

Why Narcissists Monkey-Branch

At the core of monkey-branching is fear — fear of being alone, fear of facing themselves, and fear of losing control. Narcissists need a constant stream of attention and validation to maintain their fragile self-image.

They can’t tolerate the emotional discomfort of being single, so they overlap relationships to avoid emptiness. To them, each new person represents fresh supply — someone new to idealise, manipulate, and eventually discard.

Their pattern repeats endlessly: charm, attach, exploit, discard, replace. No matter how much love or effort you give, it will never be enough to fill their emptiness.

Protecting Yourself

If you suspect you’re being monkey-branched, the best thing you can do is stop chasing answers from them. You won’t get honesty or closure — only more confusion.

Instead, focus on observation, not confrontation. Notice patterns. Limit contact. Reclaim your emotional space. Once you see their behaviour clearly, you can step out of the cycle and protect your peace.

And most importantly, remember: their betrayal doesn’t reflect your worth — it reflects their emptiness. You are not the problem; you were simply the person who saw their potential before you saw their patterns.

Final Thoughts

Monkey-branching is one of the narcissist’s most damaging behaviours because it strips you of trust and dignity while feeding their ego. But knowledge is power. When you understand their motives and methods, you can step away from their game entirely.

You don’t need to compete for their attention or beg for clarity. You simply need to walk away — because when a narcissist loses someone who sees through them, that’s when they truly lose control.

Check these out!

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future

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Monkey-Branching: How Narcissists Line Up Their Next Victim Before Letting Go of You