Narcissist Lies: Why They Lie and the Most Common Lies They Tell
Narcissist Lies: Why They Lie and the Most Common Lies They Tell
Mike Sullivan The Lies Narcissists Tell – And Why They Do It
Narcissists lie as naturally as they breathe. They deceive, manipulate, and distort reality to maintain control over those around them. But why do they lie so much? The truth is, narcissists have buried their real selves so deeply that even they may not know who they truly are. Whether they were born this way or shaped by childhood trauma remains debated, but one thing is certain: they lack empathy, refuse accountability, and blame others for their faults.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
Narcissistic Personality Disorder exists on a spectrum. While all narcissists share core traits, their manipulation tactics vary in severity and form. Some rely on charm and flattery, while others use gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or outright aggression. No matter their approach, lies are at the heart of their behaviour.
Below are some of the most common lies narcissists tell, why they say them, and what they really mean. If you’ve ever heard these phrases, you’ve likely encountered a narcissist.
Lies to Trap You in the Beginning
“You’re my soulmate.”
“I’ve never met anyone like you before.”
Narcissists don’t fall in love—they mirror you. At the start of the relationship, they observe your personality, values, and dreams, then reflect them back at you. This creates an illusion of deep connection, making you believe they’re your perfect match.
But you’re not falling for them—you’re falling for yourself. The qualities you admire in them are actually your own, projected back at you. This love-bombing stage isn’t real; it’s a tactic to hook you in. Once they have you where they want you, the illusion fades, and the manipulation begins.
Lies to Keep You Under Their Control
“I love you.”
“You’re the only one for me.”
Love, for a narcissist, is transactional. They don’t love you for who you are; they love you for what you provide—attention, admiration, financial support, or status. If you ask them why they love you, their answers will always be about what you do for them, not who you are.
Think of it like a TV. You buy one to watch your favourite shows. A narcissist sees people the same way—something to entertain and serve them. When the TV (or person) no longer functions the way they want, they replace it.
Lies to Avoid Responsibility
“It’s because you did [X] that I acted this way.”
“Other people’s partners let them do it.”
“If you paid more attention to me, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“After everything I do for you, this is how you repay me?”
“It’s not my fault.”
Narcissists never take responsibility for their actions unless there’s praise involved. If they cheat, it’s your fault for not giving them enough attention. If they hurt you, you provoked them. If they lose a job, someone else sabotaged them.
They constantly project their own faults onto you, twisting reality so you doubt yourself. This creates a cycle where victims feel guilty and try harder to please them, feeding the narcissist’s sense of control.
Lies to Guilt-Trip and Isolate You
“You weren’t there for me when I needed you.”
“You’re selfish.”
Narcissists crave attention and control. If you prioritise anyone or anything over them—whether it’s family, friends, or even self-care—they see it as a betrayal. Their response? Sulking, rage, or emotional blackmail to make you feel guilty for not putting them first.
A healthy relationship is about give and take. If you find yourself constantly sacrificing your needs to keep the peace, it’s time to re-evaluate. Are your boundaries being respected? Have you lost parts of yourself? A relationship should never demand you erase who you are.
Lies to Keep You Hooked
“I’ll change.”
“I need you to help me.”
Narcissists don’t change. They can’t—because change requires self-awareness and accountability, which they lack. They may go to therapy, but only as a performance to keep you from leaving. Once they feel secure again, they revert to their old ways.
They don’t want to change; they want to keep their supply. If they can convince you to stay by pretending to change, they will. But real change isn’t about words—it’s about consistent actions. And narcissists never follow through.
Lies to Gaslight You
“I never said that.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
Gaslighting is a narcissist’s favourite weapon. They rewrite history, deny past conversations, and make you question your own memory. Their goal? To make you doubt yourself so much that you rely on them for the truth.
If you find yourself second-guessing reality, keep records—text messages, notes, or a journal. This will help you stay grounded when they try to manipulate your perception.
Lies to Escape Consequences
“Don’t worry about anything.”
Narcissists believe they are above the law—whether it’s the actual law or moral rules. If they steal, cheat, or lie, they expect others to cover for them. If they get caught, they blame someone else.
They see themselves as superior, untouchable, and exempt from accountability. But the truth is, they live in fear—fear of being exposed, abandoned, or losing control. Their entire world is a house of cards built on lies.
Lies to Inflate Their Ego
“I’m incredibly intelligent.”
“I’ve achieved so much.”
Narcissists crave admiration. They exaggerate their achievements, fabricate success stories, and position themselves as experts—even in areas they know nothing about. If you challenge them, they lash out or discredit you.
The more you get to know them, the more you realise their stories don’t add up. Their “accomplishments” are often stolen from others, distorted, or completely made up.
Why Narcissists Lie
Narcissists lie because they lack self-esteem. They create a false self—an illusion of confidence, success, and superiority—to hide their deep insecurity. To maintain this illusion, they manipulate, deceive, and destroy others.
They cannot function without external validation. They need people to admire them, fear them, or depend on them. This is why they cannot be alone. A narcissist without an audience is nothing.
Breaking Free from Their Lies
If you’ve been tangled in a narcissist’s web, remember: their words mean nothing. Only actions reveal the truth.
- Watch for patterns. If someone constantly breaks promises, gaslights, or blames others, take note.
- Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.
- Set boundaries. Narcissists push limits. The only way to stop them is to stand firm.
- Go no contact. The best way to deal with a narcissist is to remove them from your life completely. If that’s not possible, keep communication minimal and unemotional.
7 Lies Narcissists Tell To Manipulate You And How To Break Free
Final Thoughts
Narcissists talk a great talk, but they never walk the walk. Their lies are designed to manipulate, control, and keep you trapped.
If you’ve left a narcissist, congratulations—you’ve reclaimed your freedom. If you’re still in the process, stay strong. The truth is on your side, even if they try to rewrite it.
Have you heard any of these lies before? Share your experiences in the comments—your story could help someone else spot the warning signs.
And remember: you are worthy of honesty, respect, and real love.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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