The Narcissist is Always Right: 7 Manipulative Tactics to Maintain Their Superiority
The Narcissist is Always Right: 7 Manipulative Tactics to Maintain Their Superiority
Mike Sullivan The Narcissist is Always Right (Even When They’re Wrong)
When you’re dealing with a narcissist, one of the most frustrating dynamics is their unshakable belief in their own superiority. To a narcissist, being wrong simply isn’t an option. They cannot fathom a world where their actions, thoughts, or opinions could be questioned or proven incorrect. Instead, they will go to great lengths to maintain the illusion of being “always right.” Whether it’s twisting reality, shifting blame, or gaslighting you into submission, they will stop at nothing to preserve their inflated sense of self.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
This behaviour is one of the most common and damaging traits of narcissistic abuse. It’s not just about winning an argument or proving their point; it’s about controlling the narrative and keeping their ego intact, no matter what it takes. Here are some of the ways narcissists manipulate and control their surroundings to make sure they’re always in the right:
1. Gaslighting: Distorting Your Reality
Gaslighting is perhaps the most insidious tactic a narcissist uses. If you point out a mistake they made or challenge their behaviour, they will immediately deny it. They will twist the facts and make you doubt your own memory, often claiming that you’re overreacting or imagining things. This can leave you feeling confused and uncertain, questioning your own sense of reality.
For example, if you mention that they made a hurtful comment in front of friends, they’ll quickly deny ever saying it. They might say, “I never said that,” or “You’re being too sensitive.” Over time, you start to doubt your own recollection and believe that maybe you are indeed overreacting. This subtle manipulation makes you feel like you can’t trust yourself, but the narcissist’s goal is clear: to control the narrative and maintain their position as the “truth-teller.”
2. Deflection: Shifting the Blame
When a narcissist is caught in a mistake or shown to be wrong, admitting fault is the last thing they’ll do. Instead, they will deflect the blame to someone else. They might bring up your past mistakes, accuse you of not understanding the situation, or attack your character to divert attention away from their behaviour.
For example, if you confront them about a lie, they might shift the conversation to your own shortcomings, saying something like, “Well, you’ve lied too, remember?” This tactic makes you feel defensive and less focused on their wrongdoing. The goal is not to resolve the issue but to avoid taking responsibility by making you feel like you’re the problem instead.
3. Word Games: Twisting the Narrative
Narcissists are often masters of word games. When confronted with facts or evidence that contradict their claims, they’ll immediately attempt to twist the conversation to suit their agenda. They’ll claim that you misunderstood them, took their words out of context, or that they meant something entirely different. This keeps you on your toes and often makes you second-guess the conversation.
For example, let’s say they say something hurtful, and you bring it up later. Instead of acknowledging the impact of their words, they’ll say something like, “That’s not what I meant at all. You’re just misinterpreting me.” By shifting the focus onto your misunderstanding rather than their actions, they successfully avoid accountability.
4. Moving the Goalposts: Changing the Rules
Narcissists are notorious for moving the goalposts in arguments. If you manage to counter their argument with facts or solid reasoning, they’ll change the argument altogether, making it impossible to win. What started as a debate about one issue will suddenly shift into a completely different topic, leaving you scrambling to keep up.
For example, if you call them out for being disrespectful, they might suddenly start talking about how you’ve disrespected them in the past, redirecting the entire conversation. They do this to avoid accountability and to keep control of the narrative. The rules of engagement are constantly shifting, and you can never quite figure out what will be the next move.
5. Blame-Shifting: Never Taking Responsibility
Even when a narcissist is clearly caught in the wrong, they will rarely take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they will blame someone else, often you. Whether it’s their ex, their boss, or even “bad luck,” they will find a way to push the blame away from themselves.
If they’ve lied or manipulated a situation, they might say something like, “Well, I had to lie because you would’ve reacted badly,” or “It’s not my fault; I had no choice.” This refusal to accept responsibility makes it incredibly difficult to have any meaningful resolution or closure in a relationship with a narcissist.
6. Triangulation: Bringing in a Third Party
When a narcissist is losing an argument or feels their control slipping, they may bring in a third party to back them up. This tactic, known as triangulation, involves introducing someone else to validate their perspective and make you feel outnumbered or invalidated.
For example, if you challenge a narcissist’s behaviour, they might call a friend or family member to take their side. They may say things like, “Even [so-and-so] agrees with me, so why don’t you?” The goal of triangulation is to make you feel isolated and alone in your viewpoint, forcing you to question whether your feelings are legitimate. It can be especially damaging if the third party is someone close to you, like a family member or mutual friend.
7. Fake Apologies: The Non-Apology
If a narcissist is eventually backed into a corner and forced to “apologise,” it’s rarely an apology in the true sense of the word. Instead, they’ll offer what’s known as a non-apology, such as, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or “I’m sorry you took it that way.” These apologies focus on your reaction, not their behaviour, and they never take full responsibility for their actions.
These fake apologies serve to placate you temporarily while ensuring that the narcissist’s ego remains intact. They may even act like they’re doing you a favour by “admitting” their mistake, further reinforcing their control over the situation.
Why They Do It
To a narcissist, being right is more important than being honest. The truth doesn’t matter to them; what matters is maintaining their image of superiority. Acknowledging mistakes or being vulnerable enough to admit fault would undermine their carefully constructed facade. Narcissists live in a world where they are the centre of attention, and they cannot afford to let anything or anyone disrupt that.
In a relationship with a narcissist, this dynamic can be incredibly exhausting. Constantly being forced to question your own reality, defend your perspective, and prove your worth can leave you feeling emotionally drained and isolated. The key to dealing with a narcissist is recognising these manipulative tactics and setting strong boundaries. It’s essential to stop trying to prove them wrong or engage in their mind games. Instead, focus on preserving your sense of self and walking away when necessary.
In the end, no matter how many times you confront a narcissist with their mistakes, they will always find a way to make themselves the victim and maintain their sense of superiority. The best thing you can do is refuse to engage in their manipulations and take steps to protect your emotional wellbeing. You deserve to be heard, respected, and valued — something a narcissist will never truly offer.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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