What Living with a Narcissist Is Really Like – 7 Signs You Don’t Want To Ignore
What Living with a Narcissist Is Really Like – 7 Signs You Don’t Want To Ignore
Mike Sullivan What Living with a Narcissist Is Actually Like: 7 Things You’ll Recognise
At first, it feels like you’ve met someone truly special, charming, confident, and attentive. They seem to understand you in ways no one else ever has. You feel a deep connection, as if they see right into your soul. The love they give is intoxicating, unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.
But slowly, things begin to shift. Their warmth turns into cold indifference, their kindness into cruel remarks. The person who once made you feel like the centre of their world now makes you question your own reality. You don’t notice the change at first, it’s subtle, creeping in like a fog. Before you know it, you’re trapped in a reality that feels like a never-ending cycle of confusion and pain.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
If you’ve lived with a narcissist, you’ll recognise these seven things all too well.
1. You’re Walking on Eggshells
One wrong word, one slightly different tone, and their mood shifts instantly. You never know what will trigger their anger or silent treatment. Was it the way you phrased that sentence? Did you forget to reply to their text quickly enough? Were you too cheerful, too distant, too anything?
You replay conversations in your head, trying to figure out where you went wrong. You become hyper-aware of their mood the moment they walk into the room, scanning for any sign that today might be one of those days. You learn to carefully choose your words, regulate your tone, and suppress your true feelings just to keep the peace.
But somehow, it’s never enough. No matter how hard you try to avoid setting them off, the rules keep changing. The eggshells beneath your feet multiply, and eventually, you realise, you can’t win.
2. Their Words Don’t Match Their Actions
They swear they love you, that they’d never hurt you, but their behaviour tells a different story. They make grand declarations of devotion while treating you with contempt. They apologise after hurting you, but the same patterns repeat.
They say they’ll change, that they didn’t mean it, that they only acted that way because they were stressed or upset. But their promises are empty. Time and time again, you hope this time will be different. And time and time again, you’re left disappointed.
You start questioning whether you’re imagining things. They insist you’re overreacting, that you’re too sensitive, that you’re the one twisting their words. The contradiction between what they say and what they do leaves you feeling disoriented.
3. Everything Is Your Fault
No matter what happens, you are always to blame. If they lie, it’s because you “made them.” If they lash out, it’s because you “pushed them too far.” If they cheat, it’s because you weren’t giving them enough attention.
You apologise constantly, even when you don’t know what you did wrong. You become conditioned to take responsibility for their actions, to absorb their anger, to carry the weight of their emotions on your shoulders.
At first, you fight back, insisting that you’re not at fault. But over time, you begin to believe it. Maybe you are the problem. Maybe if you just tried harder, loved them better, avoided saying the wrong thing, things would be different.
But deep down, a quiet voice tells you the truth: it wouldn’t matter what you did. The goalposts will always move, and they will always find a way to make you feel like you’re to blame.
4. You Feel Like You’re Losing Yourself
The person you used to be, the one with dreams, opinions, and confidence, feels like a distant memory. You used to know who you were, but now, you second-guess everything.
You were once decisive, but now even the smallest decisions feel overwhelming. You used to trust your instincts, but now you wonder if your perception of reality is flawed. They’ve planted so many seeds of doubt that you no longer know what’s true.
You catch glimpses of your old self sometimes, the person who laughed freely, who felt secure, who didn’t constantly live in fear. But that version of you feels out of reach, buried beneath the exhaustion of trying to survive.
5. You’re Either Idealised or Ignored
One moment, they’re showering you with love and attention. The next, they’re cold and distant, acting as if you don’t exist.
When they’re in the idealisation stage, you feel like the most important person in their world. They’re affectionate, charming, and attentive. They make you feel special, desired, irreplaceable. But then, without warning, they withdraw.
You don’t know what’s changed. Have you done something wrong? Are they upset with you? You try to bring them back, to rekindle the warmth, but nothing works. You’re left feeling abandoned and desperate for their approval.
And then, just as suddenly, they return, offering love, attention, and just enough hope to keep you holding on. The cycle continues, and you become addicted to chasing the version of them that once made you feel so alive.
6. Your Boundaries Mean Nothing
You say no, but they push. You explain your feelings, but they dismiss them. You try to set a boundary, but they step over it as if it never existed.
Over time, you learn that resisting only leads to more conflict. It’s easier to give in, to keep the peace, to pretend it doesn’t bother you. You convince yourself that it’s not worth the argument, that maybe you are being too difficult.
Your boundaries erode, little by little, until you no longer know where you end and they begin.
7. You’re Exhausted, But You Can’t Seem to Leave
You tell yourself you’ll walk away, that this time, you won’t let them pull you back in. But somehow, you always do.
Maybe it’s the fear of their reaction, the anger, the threats, the emotional manipulation. Maybe it’s the hope that this time they’ll change. Maybe it’s the sheer exhaustion of even thinking about leaving, about rebuilding your life from the ground up.
They’ve trained you to believe that you won’t survive without them, that you’re nothing without their love. And even though a part of you knows it’s a lie, the fear of the unknown keeps you trapped.
What Living with a Narcissist Is Really Like: 7 Signs You Can’t Ignore
Breaking Free
This is what living with a narcissist is actually like. It’s not just the obvious cruelty, it’s the slow erosion of self, the confusion, the isolation, the endless cycle of highs and lows. It’s the way they make you question your own mind, the way they strip you of your identity while convincing you that you need them.
But once you see it for what it is, you can begin to break free.
You are not the problem. You are not imagining things. And most importantly, you can reclaim yourself.
It won’t be easy. The fear, the doubt, and the emotional pull won’t disappear overnight. But with every step you take away from them, you move closer to the life, and the person, you were always meant to be.
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
A Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
(Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Advertisements
Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.
On Facebook.
On YouTube.
On Twitter.
On Instagram.
On Pinterest.
On LinkedIn.
On TikTok
The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.
For the full course.
Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.
For the free course.
Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.
To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.
Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.
All about the narcissist Online course.
Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.
The narcissists counter-parenting.
Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.
