What Narcissists Think When You Go No Contact: 7 Key Reactions
What Narcissists Think When You Go No Contact: 7 Key Reactions
Mike Sullivan What Narcissists Think When You Go No Contact: 7 Key Reactions
Going No Contact with a Narcissist is one of the most effective ways to reclaim your life and protect yourself from their manipulative behaviours. However, narcissists rarely accept this decision quietly. Their reactions can range from confusion to rage as they struggle to process the loss of control over their target. Here are seven common thoughts a narcissist may have when you implement No Contact.
1. “They’ll come back eventually.”
One of the core traits of narcissism is an inflated sense of self-importance. Narcissists believe that their charm, manipulation, and presence are so powerful that anyone who leaves will inevitably return. When you go No Contact, the narcissist is likely to assume that it’s only temporary. They believe that their influence is so strong that you’ll eventually realise you made a mistake and come crawling back.
This belief is deeply rooted in their distorted view of relationships. They don’t see their actions as the reason for the break, but instead, believe that they are irresistible and their charm will win you over again. It’s common for narcissists to test the boundaries of No Contact by sending seemingly harmless messages or trying to reconnect under the guise of “checking in.” They assume that you can’t possibly be serious about cutting them off for good and may continue to hoover or attempt to pull you back into their orbit.
2. “How dare they reject me?”
Rejection is something narcissists find intolerable. Their fragile egos can’t handle the idea that someone would choose to walk away from them. When you implement No Contact, the narcissist may feel a surge of anger and disbelief. They’ll likely view your decision as a personal insult and a rejection of their perceived superiority. This feeling of being rejected can lead to intense narcissistic rage, where they lash out, either directly or indirectly.
In their mind, they are the ones who should be in control of the relationship, and it’s unthinkable that you would have the power to walk away. The narcissist may feel humiliated and vindictive, viewing your No Contact as an attack on their ego. This can lead to a range of behaviours, from stalking and harassment to spreading rumours or launching smear campaigns against you. Their main goal in this stage is to punish you for daring to reject them.
3. “I need to reestablish control.”
Narcissists thrive on control and dominance over others, so when you go No Contact, they feel a loss of that control. This is deeply unsettling for them, and their immediate reaction is often to try to regain power in the situation. They may reach out with attempts to manipulate you back into communication, whether through guilt trips, love bombing, or even threats.
They may also try more covert methods to regain control. For example, they might attempt to use mutual friends or family members to pass along messages or find out what you’re up to. This indirect approach helps them maintain the appearance of not being affected by your decision while still trying to pull the strings behind the scenes.
The narcissist’s need to reestablish control can be relentless. They may escalate their attempts over time, especially if they sense that their initial efforts aren’t working. This is why it’s important to maintain strict boundaries and ensure that No Contact remains firm.
4. “They’re overreacting.”
Narcissists rarely see themselves as the problem. Even in the face of overwhelming evidence of their manipulative or harmful behaviour, they tend to dismiss or minimise the impact of their actions. When you go No Contact, the narcissist is likely to rationalise your decision as an overreaction to something they consider trivial. They might tell themselves that you’re being too sensitive or dramatic and that your response is out of proportion to whatever behaviour led to the cutoff.
By framing your decision this way, the narcissist avoids taking responsibility for their actions. Instead of reflecting on how their behaviour may have caused harm, they convince themselves that you’re the one being unreasonable. This allows them to maintain their delusional self-image of being in the right and prevents them from feeling guilt or remorse.
5. “I’ll make them regret this.”
Narcissists have a vengeful streak, and when they feel wronged, they often seek to retaliate. Going No Contact can trigger this sense of betrayal, and the narcissist may begin plotting ways to make you regret your decision. This might involve trying to guilt you into resuming contact by playing on your sense of obligation or empathy. For example, they might send messages that imply they’re going through a hard time, hoping you’ll feel bad and reach out.
Alternatively, they may try to undermine your sense of self-worth by launching a smear campaign or spreading rumours about you. Narcissists often try to damage your reputation, especially among mutual friends or family members, to make you feel isolated and ashamed. By creating drama and conflict, they hope to push you into a position where you’re forced to respond and break the No Contact boundary.
6. “They must be hiding something.”
Narcissists are naturally suspicious and tend to project their own deceptive tendencies onto others. When you go No Contact, the narcissist might convince themselves that you’re hiding something. They may start to imagine elaborate scenarios where your decision to cut them off is part of a bigger scheme against them. This could range from paranoid thoughts about you having a secret relationship to believing that you’re plotting to turn others against them.
This suspicion fuels their desire to investigate and uncover whatever they think you’re hiding. They might snoop on your social media, interrogate mutual friends, or even hire someone to spy on you, all in an effort to validate their suspicions. Their need for control and dominance makes it difficult for them to accept that you simply walked away for your own well-being.
7. “I’m the victim here.”
One of the most common reactions narcissists have when you go No Contact is to cast themselves as the victim. In their minds, they’re the ones who have been wronged, and they’re quick to seek sympathy and validation from others. This may involve telling people that you cut them off for no reason or that they were only trying to help you when you unfairly ended the relationship.
By positioning themselves as the victim, narcissists avoid taking any responsibility for the hurt they’ve caused. Instead, they manipulate others into seeing them as the wounded party, hoping to gain support or even provoke guilt in you. This tactic not only helps them maintain their inflated self-image but also keeps their supply of attention and admiration intact.
Final Thoughts
When you go No Contact with a narcissist, their reactions are rooted in their need for control, dominance, and validation. Whether they try to hoover you back in with charm, lash out in rage, or paint themselves as the victim, their goal is always the same: to regain power over you. Understanding these reactions helps you stay firm in your decision and protect yourself from further manipulation. While No Contact can be difficult, it’s often the most effective way to break free from a narcissist’s toxic influence and begin the healing process.
What Do Narcissist’s Really Think When You Go No Contact?
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